Monday, October 9, 2023

 It has indeed been a while since I've posted anything on Blogger.  I've had a TON of work before me, getting used to living in a rental after having maintained my mother's house for the past four decades or so.

I am only SO THANKFUL to everyone who has helped me survive this insanely vile period in my life, especially in light of that period having been precipitated by my mother's untimely death.

Since I moved out of the house and rented my first apartment on September 1, 2019, it was a struggle dealing with the trauma of having lost that home.  It didn't help that the apartment was a run-down joint on La Brea Avenue, between Venice and Washington, one of the busier, noisier, more congested, and more polluted areas in the city.  And the apartment had no dedicated parking, so I had to play musical parking spaces on the street.  The trauma of losing my mother's home eventually resulted in a serious lower-back re-injury that left parts of my left foot paralyzed as well as numb, back on January 3, 2020.  On February 5, 2020, I had to have surgery on two of my discs in order to correct the problem.  But after the post-surgery recovery (which was in my apartment, as they don't have hospital inpatient recovery for surgeries like this anymore), I couldn't get the orthopedic rehabilitation care I needed on account of the Covid-19 Pandemic Lockdowns in March.  On top of that, I lost my 2008 Mazda CX-7 to an engine fire on July 29, 2020, and couldn't buy a new vehicle because of the excess loan amount that still had to be paid off (and that will be the LAST time I buy anything from CarMax), which meant that I was at the mercy of Uber, Lyft, and the public transportation system for two years.  (And I mean, EXACTLY two years: I finally bought a van on July 29, 2022.)

On the upside, however, my employer allowed me to telecommute during the Pandemic, giving me a laptop with a built-in video camera.  And although there were no in-person poetry readings allowed, quite a few of the venues transferred themselves to the realm of Zoom meetings, which lead to an expanded audience and easier participation (well, for those of us with computers and smartphones).  Many of us who had already been veteran poets in the Los Angeles scene felt like we were getting a shot of adrenalin in the arm with Zoom audiences, and the Pandemic-Era Zoom scene led to a Renaissance in Spoken-Word Poetry.

In January 2021, when I was anticipating a better year of hunting for a new rental, I was infected with Covid on around January 5 and hospitalized from January 11 to January 24.  I was almost suffocating in that hospital bed, as every attempt at inhaling felt like eleven daggers were being rammed into each lung.  I probably caught the virus while I was working at a drive-through Covid testing site, which my employer required me to do at the time.  Afterwards, I got the vaccine in April, then resumed my efforts in finding another rental, which weren't that successful in that year.  The entire year was almost "the year that wasn't."

Eventually, when I really got myself together, I was able to find a better rental in May 2022.  Nevertheless, the 33 months I lived in that run-down apartment on La Brea Avenue were a much-needed awakening of sorts.  Outside of that house, I began to think on my own, and re-evaluate life on my own terms.  I've read a ton of new literature that I might not have considered in my former living situation, and it has forced me to re-evaluate my spirituality at the deepest levels.  What my former stepfather did to my late mother's legacy was already an abomination, especially after his involvement as a deacon and associate pastor in the church for so many decades.  But in light of his transgressions, coupled with the numerous insane horrors that have befallen Believers over the recent years, I have had no choice but to be more critical of the religion as a whole.  This pivot has resulted in quite a few new writings that I will eventually post here.  As for my other blog, "Miraculous Empowerment," there may not be any more activity there, and I might eventually take down the blog altogether.  I will not, however, be leaving the Christian faith anytime soon, unless I encounter overwhelming evidence that compels me to do so.  But these days, I cannot take things at face value anymore: I have to prove them and see whether or not they are true.

As for musical compositions and performances, I'm still trying to get back on my feet, so that's still a ways off in the future.  I'm just glad I'm still standing after all that has happened.

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