"Change So-called"

Americans are obsessed with safety. This has become even more of a concern after the horrific attacks of September 11^th, 2001. The problem is, a concern for safety does not ensure morality or virtue. Quite the contrary, people have been known to sell out their very souls for safety, and that is truly immoral. Benjamin Franklin, one of the founding fathers of this nation, wrote, “They that can give up their essential liberties to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.” What does this say of the nation today? America as a whole allowed President George W. Bush to basically tear the Constitution to shreds with his Patriot Act, which was anything BUT patriotic. America as a whole allowed President Bush to intimidate some dissenting voices while imprisoning others. And America as a whole allowed President Bush to invade foreign nations for oil in this nation’s collective name. And these questions remain. Will the American people behave any differently under a new President? Will the actions of one man as noble as Barack Obama truly make up for the collective sins of an entire nation? Is Obama’s cross really that big?

As noble a man as Obama may be, in this author’s opinion, he is still just a flesh-and-blood man. However, his words and ideals of justice, basic liberties, human rights, American values, and the empowerment of the people are of more importance. That is because they were words and ideals that this nation was responsible for upholding even before Obama ran for the Office of President. The problem is, for the past eight years (and, some may argue, earlier), this nation miserably failed to uphold them. This nation failed to uphold them when Bush and his cronies usurped the Presidential Vote in 2000. This nation failed to uphold them in the face of terror, namely, after the alleged terror attacks of September 11^th, 2001, which claimed the lives of thousands of innocent victims on the airlines, at the former World Trade Center towers, and at the Pentagon. And instead, this nation gave President Bush carte blanch authority, authority to invade both Afghanistan and Iraq (primarily because those two nations were drowning in oil, and big oil corporations like Vice President Cheney’s Halliburton had to have it) and to violate the American people’s rights to privacy and a fair trial. If you were declared unpatriotic or a terrorist, then you could be jailed without trial, plain and simple. (This is nothing more than a recycled version of McCarthyism, with the word “Communist” replaced by the word “Terrorist.”) Furthermore, evidence has already surfaced that the terror attacks of September 11^th were an inside job, and had absolutely nothing to do with “Middle-Eastern terrorists successfully evading America’s redundantly heavy security protocols.” (See http://www.loosechange911.com/blog/ for more details.) Nevertheless, that the American people already knew these things by 2004, and then granted Bush a second term in office, demonstrated just how much all Americans, even the most politically aware, would sell out for the sake of conformity, economic luxury, and “a little temporary safety.”

Obama cannot undo the repeated sins of over two-hundred-and-fifty-million people. No one man on this Earth can, and to suggest that Obama can is a suggestion based on abject laziness, heinous avarice, and pathetic stupidity, the same things that depleted democracy in the first place. America desperately needs to learn what her founding fathers already knew centuries ago, that anything of moral value worth living for must also be worth dying for. And no matter how you try to rationalize it, a fear of dying will inevitably result in a fear of living, because fear is fear. As long as Americans continue to cower and tremble in a corner every time the government shouts “BOO,” democracy is basically dead. And if that death has already transpired, then what ominous thing has taken its place in Washington, D.C.?

Copyright (c) 2008, All Rights Reserved

Links in the Chain

A chain can only be as strong as its weakest link. The same applies to humanity as a whole. Society can only be as moral and legal as its most depraved criminal. Technology can only be as beneficial and progressive as its most selfish ignoramus. Civilization can only be as humane and just as its most tyrannically avaricious corporation. A nation can only be as upright and exemplary as its most irresponsibly perverse hedonist. A people can only be as strong and courageous as their most acquiescent coward. And a community can only be as wealthy as its most impoverished family.

Just as a small pinch of yeast can permeate an entire loaf and render it unclean (Exodus 12:15, 19-20; 13:6-7; 34:25; Leviticus 2:11; 6:17; 10:12; Amos 4; Matthew 13:33; Luke 13:20-21; I^st Corinthians 5:6-8; Galatians 5:9; all KJV), a single weak link in any chain can weaken the entire chain and render it useless. When one foolishly wallows in a cesspool, the entire human race wallows. We are all interconnected in this fashion, and as such, we are all responsible for one another and to one another. To live in denial against this most basic truth is to become the weakest link of all.

Copyright (c) 2008, All Rights Reserved

"The Eventual Obsolescence of Money"

Money was created as a medium of currency used to facilitate the process of exchanging one product for another. With money, every quantifiable product is assigned a monetary value, and with this monetary value one can purchase the product desired by exchanging the valued amount of money for it. One's employment labor, the food one eats, the clothing one wears, the home one lives in, the animals and plants one owns, the vehicle of transportation one uses, the entertainment products one enjoys, the businesses one owns, the intellectual property one creates, and numerous other products all have a unique monetary value. In this society, we all need money in order to obtain our very means for physical survival, and the only two known ways of obtaining money on a regular basis are by working for it yourself or by acquiring and owning substantial assets that do the work for you.

But what would happen to our society if everyone had telepathic and telekinetic mental abilities, including the ability to instantaneously manipulate vast quantities of matter on a molecular, atomic, or subatomic level? If you could create whatever product you needed, even whatever product you desired, by merely thinking it into existence, then you obviously wouldn't need to buy it at all. Why buy something when you can have it for free without having to steal it? With such phenomenal superhuman powers, society's priorities and philosophies would be changed overnight. If everyone had the ability to instantaneously think food into existence, much like Jesus Christ multiplying loaves and fishes or changing water into good wine, world hunger would altogether cease to exist, and the slaughtering of innocent animals for meat would altogether become a thing of the past. If everyone had the ability to instantaneously think clothing, cars, mobile homes, houses, apartments, buildings, musical instruments, entertainment systems, computer technology, and any other physical product into existence, our current global economy would be turned upside down, and nearly every global corporation would wind up out of business. If everyone had the ability to instantaneously heal themselves, much like Jesus Christ instantaneously healing the blind man and the leper while miraculously raising the dead, medical and pharmaceutical corporations would also wind up out of business, diseases like cancer and AIDS would be wiped out forever, paraplegics would be able to walk again, amputees would be able to miraculously grow back their lost limbs, and all people with birth-defects would be made whole. If everyone could mentally levitate their own bodies and fly through the sky without the use of aircraft, the whole concept of air-traffic would have to be redefined, and the airline industry would be reduced to a mere fraction of its current size. If everyone could mentally and instantaneously teleport themselves to another country, another world, and even another galaxy, then everyone could be an explorer, a traveler, and even an astronaut (having taken into account, of course, the proper preparations for dealing with harsh non-terrestrial environments), journeying to distant places far beyond the reach of the world's current space-programs. If everyone mentally possessed advanced telepathic capabilities, parents could teach their child how to speak while the child is still developing in the womb, children could be educated at an accelerated rate, people who may be separated by vast distances could still interact with each other in a vivid telepathic virtual-reality, and nearly every telecommunications corporation would also wind up out of business. Indeed, if humanity possessed such awesome, miraculous, supernatural capabilities, society itself would be radically different from what it is today. Whether our overall society becomes better or worse as a result of such miraculous empowerment, however, depends entirely upon overall human character, and specifically whether or not human character can adapt itself, in a healthy way, to such radical empowerment.

Whether or not the very human being will ever acquire the above-mentioned miraculous supernatural capabilities is no longer an issue. Such innate capabilities are already on the horizon for the entire human race, and eventually, society will be miraculously empowered beyond anyone's wildest dreams. In this brave new future, the overall concept of money will no longer have any place. Nevertheless, the very difference between paradise and peril in this future world will be determined by what kind of person inherits it. Any person who is still willfully entertaining his or her own past or present character-flaws is simply not ready for this future world, where every last human being will possess godlike superhuman capabilities. Time and again, history has demonstrated how corrupt and reprobate a carnally minded person becomes when he or she obtains a substantial amount of money, social status, and authority, without any kind of prior moral discipline to overcome the carnal mind. Now consider how immeasurably cataclysmic the same person would become after having obtained awesome supernatural capabilities. A godlike, supernaturally empowered individual who still maintained a violent vendetta, an avaricious lust, or any other form of character-flaw would be considered, in the least case, lethal. Such is the individual attempting to utilize his or her awesome new miraculous powers while thinking with an old mindset. An example of this old mindset can be observed in an individual who uses his or her new powers as awesome weapons of vengeful violence against automobile drivers in a hostile instance of traffic-congestion, his or her anger fueled by prior experiences with road-rage. The same individual with a new mindset would have simply teleported himself or herself, along with any cargo and other people, to the desired destination without having to deal with any kind of adverse traffic situations or road-rage at all. Another example of the old mindset involves an individual driven by perverse lusts, using his or her new powers to wrongfully seduce other people into having outrageous sexual intercourse with him or her, or using his or her new powers to wrongfully create freakishly new sex-creatures to fulfill his or her own deviant desires. With a new mindset, the same individual would have simply eliminated the lusts altogether, having exclusive sexual relations with his or her own loving spouse (whom he or she may have found through the proper use of telepathy), and using sex to have children with that same spouse. A rape-victim with an old mindset of vengefulness, and not a new mindset of mercy and forgiveness, would have used his or her new powers to instantaneously hunt down and viciously murder the rapist, even if the rapist had already earnestly repented, diligently paid for the crime through the legal justice system, and truly sought to be an honest, decent, virtuous member of society. Vengefulness, lust, wrath, greed, envy, sorrow, pride, hatred, vanity, materialism, laziness, and numerous other character-flaws originating from the old mindset are the result of humanity having lived a mortal, desperately limited physical life for many thousands of years. A race of human beings capable of miraculously altering the very building-blocks of the physical realm through sheer telepathy and telekinesis would be considered an entirely new creation altogether, and as such, the old mindset and its governing rules would be utterly obsolete. That is why the miraculous, superhuman empowerment of the human race must be involuntarily accompanied by the intensely disciplined renewal of the mind, so that every empowered individual thinks cognitively and exclusively with the new mindset, and not with the old. Functioning in the old mindset, including the open identification of yourself as your physical body and not as your eternal self, will utterly prevent you from properly inheriting this miraculous empowerment and the new mindset that must come with it. And both the concept of money and the love of money are also part of this physical self-identification that must be completely done away with.

There will always be situations where yesterday's solution becomes tomorrow's stumblingblock. In the past, money was an excellent solution for managing the commercial affairs of a human race trapped in bondage to the physical body. But in a future where humanity will be free of any and all physical bondage, money will become a serious stumblingblock against this entirely new way of life. This is not to say that money in and of itself is a bad concept. But the context in which money is utilized will determine whether or not it is bad, and although the importance of money has not changed in any way, the very inner-being of humanity is about to undergo a radical, unprecedented transformation that will impact the entire physical Universe. Within the context of this new humanity, money will be utterly meaningless.

Copyright (c) 2007, All Rights Reserved

"Politically Using Ignorant People to Your Advantage"

(I wrote this piece shortly after John Kerry lost the Presidential Election to George W. Bush.)

1. For every intelligent person who votes at the polls, there are bound to be more incredibly ignorant ones who also vote. Such ignorant people are usually driven by blind emotion (i.e. greed, fear, pride, vanity, gluttony, wrath, hate, or religious zeal), and not by reason at all. NEVER appeal to anyone's intellect. ALWAYS appeal to their blind emotion. Create a national atmosphere of awesome spectacle and mind-numbing fear (i.e. a vicious enemy has struck, and he will not rest until he has destroyed you all!), and then stand as "the steadfast savior of this great nation." Your aura will become godlike in the eyes of those ignorant people motivated by fear. Tout your religion about as you play this role of "hero," and you will win the support of those ignorant people motivated by religious zeal. Have your military forces invade the countries where the above-mentioned "vicious enemy" MAY HAVE come from (heck, you don't even have to be very accurate about the point of origin, since ignorant people usually don't even care about such details), and you have endeared yourself to those ignorant people motivated by wrath, hate, and pride. Talk about the economic benefits to be gained from such an invasion, and you will have the faithful support of those ignorant people driven by greed and gluttony. Talk about how great and victorious a nation you run, and that the nation doesn't owe anything to the global community anymore, and you will be worshipped by those ignorant people motivated by vanity.
2. Befriend the ignorant, and you will have an ally for life. Turn your back on the ignorant, and you will have an enemy for life. Successfully deceive the people, by demonstration, into believing that the ignorant are wise and prudent, while the intelligent are foolish and stupid, and the ignorant will love you for as long as you live. Demonstrate that mental laziness and lack of education actually have lasting rewards, while intelligent people who ask too many questions are unpatriotic troublemakers who need to be "put in their place," and the ignorant will kiss your feet forever. (In many cases, all you have to do is simply BE an ignorant (or seemingly ignorant) White Anglo-Saxon Protestant male who comes from the same part of America overpopulated by ignorant people, and the ignorant will love and support you unconditionally, even while you're busy raising their taxes and increasing the national deficit, to name but a few politically unsavory deeds.)
3. Even when you have been proven to be wrong beyond any reasonable doubt, continue to insist that you are right anyway, and that what you said or did simply MUST be right because YOU said or did it. The ignorant masses who blindly follow you without question will also blindly believe you without question, and they're the only ones who really matter to you. And besides, according to the ignorant masses, "the steadfast savior of this great nation" cannot ever be wrong, even when he IS wrong.

Copyright (c) 2005, All Rights Reserved

"Lovemaking"

When a man truly makes passionate love with a woman,
such lovemaking is never limited to
sexual intimacy or bedroom booty-calls.
True lovemaking should always be complete,
all-encompassing. I am making love with you
every time I take you to your favorite restaurant,
looking deeply, joyfully, into your lovely eyes as I pay the whole bill
without question. I am making love with you
when I take you to that movie you've been longing to see,
and you rest your head on my shoulder as I
gently put my arm around you. I am making love with you
as we stroll along the beach, hand in hand,
watching the sunset upon the westward oceans.
I am making love with you through the softest touch,
the most passionate kiss, the longest embrace.
I am making love with you every time I comfort you
through your worst trials, every time I forgive you
for your mistakes and faults, every time I tell you
I will neither leave you nor forsake you, and every time
I gently whisper "I love you" into your ear.
I am making love with you because you make love with me,
emotionally, physically, mentally, passionately, joyfully, generously,
faithfully. I am making love with you
every time we deeply gaze into each other's tender eyes
as though we were the last man and woman on Earth,
as though you were my beloved wife,
before and after the wedding altar.
I am making love with you for all the times
you helped me back to my feet when I stumbled and fell.
I am making love with you for all the times
you overlooked my shortcomings and cherished my virtues.
I am making love with you
because you cherished me above every other man.
I am making love with you because you mean more to me
than any other woman in this world,
and treating you like a mere booty-call would be a grievous crime.
And every time I make love with you,
I will always be the gentleman to your lady,
so that there will be absolutely no doubt in anyone's mind
that we are always making love,
no matter where we are.


Copyright (c) 2003, All Rights Reserved

"The Roses Never Slept"

I watch as roses explode like fireflies,
thoughts traveling like winged elephants, with speed and mass,
colliding with walls made of solid vapor and translucent iron,
erupting like ancient volcanoes into trees of future knowledge,
denting cars and bling-bling like reverse hypocrites,
tearing away at the emperor's new clothes like
iron teeth ripping flesh from the bones of jaded souls,
eating french-fries and voting ballots while
walking to and fro upon oceans of forgetfulness,
television sets billowing their sails with blasts upon blasts of vast
nothing escaping from detached lips in cosmic stasis.
And the flower-beds fall together like super-massive black holes
in the skin of my ancient celestial instincts, devouring time like moths,
filling whimsical afterthoughts with the smoke of regretful embers,
deep seas filled with mysterious apologies from the hearts of
anthropomorphic sheep. I grasp the fabric of space with my teeth and
find secrets beneath the thumbnails of interstellar deserts,
midnight worlds lit by fireflies of fluid determination,
DNA woven like ethereal spider-webs across oceans of being.
The roses never slept.


Copyright (c) 2006, All Rights Reserved

"Counterbalance"

Counterbalance.
Life versus death. Libido versus thanatos. Wisdom versus ignorance.
Peace versus war. Counterbalance.
Brotherhood versus hatred. Nurture versus murder. Truth versus lies.
Right versus wrong. Counterbalance.
Growth versus decay. Advancement versus decline. Progress versus stagnation.
Transcendence versus ruin. Counterbalance.
Humanity has been relentlessly plagued by an unsung rule
as ubiquitous as breathing. Counterbalance.
Every step forward must be cancelled out by an opposing step backwards.
Every swing of the human pendulum in the direction of
progress, growth, brotherhood, and transcendence
must be cancelled out by a swing in the opposite direction,
that of stagnation, decay, hatred, and ruin. Counterbalance.
The greater our technological advances, the greater the misery of world poverty.
The more vital knowledge we learn, the greater the number of violent crimes.
The more we organize peace between nations, the more they go to war.
The more we improve our quality of life,
the more out-of-reach those improvements become.
Counterbalance is the reason so many excellent leaders
who have promoted peace, brotherhood, equity, and justice
will always be drowned out by odious tyrants
who have shoved war, hatred, greed, and corruption
down the people's throats. Counterbalance is the reason
so many life-giving scientific discoveries and technological advances
have been outrageously converted into weapons of mass destruction,
the reason so many great geniuses have been met with violent opposition
from mediocre minds, the reason the most noble intentions will still result in
one final Armageddon. No matter how high we climb,
there will always arise some other element of humanity
that must pull the whole of us back down to the dirt.
We have built great aircraft that climb to the highest heights of the skies.
But then there arises another element in our midst,
violently hijacking our invention and
turning it into a weapon of senseless mass-bloodshed.
Dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.
And even if we discover the secrets of immortality,
others in our midst will surely annihilate the entire race with extinction
long before we apply those secrets. (And the guilty will actually think
that they are doing God a service!) Counterbalance dictates that
we have the key, but we refuse to enter in, and (adding insult to injury)
we violently oppose anyone else who tries to enter in.
Understanding versus foolishness. Diligence versus laziness.
Generosity versus greed. And even throughout our very history,
time itself can be the counterbalance,
with certain of our inventions hailed as a blessing in one generation,
but reviled as a curse in the next,
with fathers and mothers striving against sons and daughters
while the very fate of humanity hangs in the balance.
The future yearns to invent something new,
to replace a horrendously outdated relic.
But the past, currently making a fortune with said relic,
stands in violent opposition. Even the renewal of the mind is daunting
when the avaricious becomes a billionaire.
Thus the very same ideals which have given us our present complex society
are now preventing us from obtaining a civilization of immortality.
Such is the irony of counterbalance, the irony of beings
on the brink.


Copyright (c) 2006, All Rights Reserved

"Out of Place in L.A."

I am trying to make sense of it all,
but it refuses to cooperate. On the streets of Los Angeles,
you are admonished by the Law to drive carefully, patiently,
and obediently. But in spite of your responsible driving-habits,
you still wind up getting hit by some careless driver who
runs a red light at seventy while dialing a cell'-phone or
turns from the wrong lane while eating a cheeseburger or
cuts you off without signaling and then slams on the brakes or
broadsides you while trying to put on make-up.
Multiply these negligent drivers and their pedestrian cousins by several million,
and you suddenly start to wonder why L.A. still exists.
And this overpriced, overpopulated nightmare vents her worst anger
on the streets, drivers and pedestrians alike going out of their way
to be rude to each other, constantly seeking vengeance against everyone
for merely being here, in the same crowded place, at the same congested time.
Everyone wants to move to Los Angeles, but no one wants to leave,
and everyone wants to drive their own vehicle.
They all have their reasons for being here
(i.e. Hollywood, the weather, the money, and so on),
none of which fills their own spiritual void, their own true sense of purpose.
And as such, they are all imbalanced and out of place
while they are here. And all they have to show for themselves
is that they are here, and as such, they spiritually cannot help but
viciously hate both themselves and each other
on the streets of Los Angeles, streets that can no longer bear
their huddled masses yearning to breathe free.


Copyright (c) 2006, All Rights Reserved

"Excuses"

Excuses.
Like barriers of senselessness, they prevent us
from doing what we must. Excuses.
They interrupt our dreams with unsubstantiated realities
made of false hopelessness and vain fears.
Excuses
to stop building, to cease from learning, to end friendships,
to neglect love, these are the excuses that excuse us
from living right, making a difference, changing the world,
our world, our universe. And it's always the same-ol'
worn-out excuses of being
too busy with work, too occupied with the family,
too overburdened with chores and tasks and errands and
issues and layoffs and unemployment and divorce and
lawsuits and damages and psychological meltdowns and
foreclosures and repossessions and bankruptcies and
one loss after another after another after another while
living a life you could swear belonged to someone else
void of dreams and visions and purpose and hope and
faith. What ever happened to dreams that gave birth
to nations? What ever happened to visions that
turned the worst of enemies into the dearest of brothers?
And why is it such a crime these days
to have a heart that burns with a sense of purpose
gliding far above and beyond this wasteland called
the daily grind? There will never be any excuse
noble enough to account for the death of the human spirit.
The people must stop making excuses
and start dreaming nations
once again.


Copyright (c) 2002, All Rights Reserved

"Paradise is Only Skin-Deep"

Paradise.
Some see it as owning a wealthy estate,
equipped with yachts, mansions, private jets, servants,
and every last cable channel known to man.
Some view it as owning both the land and the fat of the land,
cornering every last niche of the stock market,
and then purchasing a few tropical islands
while flying through the neighborhood.
Heaven to this sort is not merely owning a Rolls Royce,
but rather, owning the first one that was ever built,
simply because there's excess bank interest
that needs to be burned.
These people see Paradise as
being able to use hundred-dollar bills as firewood
without regrets.
Then there are those who see Bliss as
getting their Masters Degree and
turning an academic thesis into a Nobel Prize.
Their achievements are their Heaven, shaping and reshaping
the minds of society like heroes and gods shape clay into souls.
For them, it is not enough to be satisfied with loaves and fishes,
for their Paradise indeed resides in the eternal flight of the spirit,
bringing dreams of invention, expression, wisdom and justice to a world
that thirsts for answers and redemption.
Their Joy is to discover the timeless reality
that brings man ever closer to the dreams of his immortal soul.
Theirs is a Heaven of ideas.
But for others,
the quest for Paradise is elusive as dreams deferred.
Some see it as having enough strength
to get through another twelve-hour work-day,
praying that they'll be able to make ends meet
for both themselves and their children.
Sometimes, Heaven is an answered prayer
during one's most desperate hours of need.
Some see Paradise as a three-day weekend
away from that nightmare of a daily commute.
Their idea of making money the old-fashioned way is
winning the Lottery and finally being able to
dump their boss and their sweat-shop job.
Some experience their Heaven when they finally get hired
by the right company.
Paradise means many things to many people.
For some it means not having to worry
about another bomb falling through the roof of their house,
or another round of machine-gun fire shattering their windows,
or another roaming band of soldiers
taking away yet more family relatives at midnight
to be beaten, tortured, raped,
murdered and thrown into unknown mass graves,
never to be seen alive again.
For some it means not having another nightmare
about death-camps, firing squads and gas chambers.
And for others it means overcoming the shackled legacy
of being counted as only three-fifths of a human being
by our country, 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty.
Was your Paradise ever the same as mine?
I have seen some reduce Heaven to nothing more than
another hit, another toke, another drink.
And for some, that's all there is.
Their idea of Bliss is a fix without a price-tag,
where they don't have to burglarize property or sell their very body
in order to get high all day long. And Paradise becomes
the drug becomes the Paradise they seek, sending them headlong
into the Peril they struggle to avoid.
And the journey to this Fools' Heaven can only end
at the bottom of Hell, on the streets of the forsaken.
Here is where Paradise is seen as a day where
one dumpster actually contains discarded rags that fit,
while another has scraps of food that haven't yet been contaminated.
Heaven is seen as an empty street at night,
with enough bags on the sidewalk to make a pillow,
where one's babbling soul can muster one last shred of sanity
to pray for mercy. Indeed, these lost souls see Paradise as
anything other than this world which has completely forgotten them.
Their fragmented minds see Heaven as both
survival in this world
and escape to the next.
And the derelict prays for the Paradise of Mercy
at the foot of the selfsame mansion
owned by someone who is praying for the Paradise
of more hundred-dollar bills to burn in the fireplace.
Paradise is only skin-deep.


Copyright (c) 2001, All Rights Reserved

Single Men and Single Mothers

There are many reasons single men shy away from dating single mothers in modern-day America. Some of these reasons are purely egotistical, while others are extremely legitimate. They range from men not wanting to deal with women who were already "taken" and then left with another man's child (or children), to men who do not want to face the grim prospect of going to prison for physically disciplining (i.e. appropriately slapping or spanking) a disrespectful child. But either way, the presence of children from a previous union complicates the dating situation in a way that most single men simply do not wish to be bothered with.

First of all, raising a child is a priority, not an option. Ladies, the moment you chose to have your first child is the moment your selfish desires absolutely had to take a back seat. Being single and love-starved does not mean your responsibilities as a mother come second. Because your child is still a child who has no education, does not know right from wrong, and cannot feed, clothe, or shelter himself (or herself), his needs (or her needs) come first, while yours come last, twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, all year long, and every year of your natural life, until that child is a grown adult. And if you're a young woman who hasn't had any children yet, and you're not sure that you're ready for motherhood, then don't get pregnant. One minute of prevention always beats a lifetime of cure.

Now when a man finds out that the woman he's dating or about to date is a single mother, he should be immediately provoked to inwardly (and sometimes openly) ask several questions about the single mother. First, why should he get involved with a woman who cannot dedicate her all to making any new relationship work because her obligations are to her child (or children) first? Second, since she has had a child (or children) by another man, what role does that other man play in her life, if any? Third, why is she no longer with the very father of her child (or children)? Fourth, why should he deal with the drama of this woman's child (or children) disrespecting him in his presence, especially since nowadays any of his attempts to physically discipline her disrespectful child (or children) will result in his being arrested and imprisoned for child abuse or child endangerment? And fifth, why should he deal with a single mother's drama at all when there are thousands of available single women who haven't had any pregnancies yet?

The first question is merely a matter of common sense. As has been stated earlier, the needs of any child come first, while the parent's needs come last. This means that the average single mother is obligated to dedicate her quality time and energy to feeding her child, clothing her child, and making sure her child has a roof over his head (or her head), quality education, proper medical care, and proper discipline. Unfortunately, developing a healthy romantic relationship also demands quality time and energy, which are required for proper communication, personal connection, emotional bonding, and sexual compatibility. As such, a single man is placed in a dilemma, because no matter how important the relationship-building phase may be, the single mother's responsibilities as a mother must come first. Unless the man is in a mutual situation, i.e. he is a single father with children of his own, then the couple is unequally joined together, and the instabilities resulting from their inherently imbalanced relationship will inevitably destroy the relationship altogether. That is one reason why single men without children simply avoid single mothers altogether.

The second question involves the other man (or men) responsible for the single woman becoming a mother. If the father of the woman's child is still attached to the woman in any way other than being the father of her child, then that woman is simply off-limits, no matter how available she says she is. In addition to this being a matter of common sense, this is also about staying alive, especially if this other man has a history of violence or a criminal record. Even if the other man is nowhere to be found (i.e. he may even be dead), some single men are simply repulsed by single mothers because, in the minds of such men, those women have clearly been "taken and used by other men," and the resulting children are the lasting evidence of this.

The third question involves another truth regarding family values, namely, that it takes both the father and the mother to properly raise a child, regardless of any modern-day sentiments. (As such, the preponderance of single parenthood is a malicious societal aberration, one that is responsible for the current fatal decay of American social infrastructure.) If the father of a single mother's child was at one time joined with that woman, either by long-term relationship or by marriage, then the forces and events which destroyed that relationship or marriage ought to be of grave concern to any single man who is interested in the woman. If the earlier man or the woman (or both) had something to do with the break-up, then in what capacity? If the earlier man was hostile or unfaithful towards the woman, then what emotional scars did he leave her with? Was the woman hostile or unfaithful in any way? Those and other questions ought to be asked. On the other hand, if the father of that single mother's child was never joined with that woman on any long-term basis, then that means her pregnancy was obviously the result of sexual indiscretion, and this should raise more alarming questions. Does this woman have an understanding of birth control? If she does, then will she insist on using it? Does this woman have a problem with sexual promiscuity? If this woman has had children by several other men, then can she really be faithful to any one man for a long period of time? Has this woman ever tried to use pregnancy to trap a man and control him? Only a fool would never consider asking such questions, since sexual indiscretion can also result in the contraction of dangerous diseases like herpes or AIDS.

The fourth question focuses on the child, who is an indivisible part of the single mother's life. It is a well-known fact in today's America that any physical form of punishment against children is considered child-abuse, and any child who has suffered such punishment for any reason can have the punishing parents arrested and imprisoned. The situation is even worse for a punishing adult who has neither blood relations with nor custody over the child. So then how does a single man punish a single mother's disrespectful child without using much-deserved physical punishment on that child? In truth, the only way most extremely disrespectful children respond with obedience and respect is through the pains of physical discipline or through fear of the same. But because such physical discipline has been made illegal in "modern" America, punishable by imprisonment and other penalties, the best way a single man can deal with a single mother's disrespectful child is by putting that child out of his life. Unfortunately, as stated previously, the child is an indivisible part of the single mother's life. So if the child must be put out, then so must the mother. Furthermore, it is also a known fact that most children of single mothers do not want any outsider competing with them for their mothers' attention and love, and so those same children will be as disrespectful as possible in an effort to drive the competitor away. A good number of single men simply do not want to deal with these headaches, and that is also why they utterly reject single mothers altogether.

This brings one to the fifth and final question, which pertains to that quintessential "path of least resistance." In America, available women have consistently outnumbered available men, and as any given generation ages, the gap only increases. Furthermore, the number of men who turn to a lifestyle of vice further diminishes the number of available men who would become good boyfriends, husbands, and fathers. As such, the average single man, who has scores of options to choose from, would obviously choose a single woman who is as drama-free as possible. That means she has little or no emotional scars, no sexually transmitted diseases whatsoever, and absolutely no children in her care. This is not to say that there are absolutely no single men who prefer to date single mothers. Nor does this say that single mothers do not deserve any romance at all. If a man and a woman truly love each other, then regardless of whether or not she is a single mother, their faithfulness and commitment to each other will eventually overcome all obstacles. Nevertheless, every single man who finds himself dealing with a single mother must be sober in his thinking. Any single mother and her children are already a family unit, so in reality, and regardless of anything she may say to the contrary, he is dealing with more than just the single mother. He is dealing with the family unit that she has been left in charge of.


Copyright (c) 2007, All Rights Reserved

Marital Sacrifices

List of things that can be sacrificed in order to make a romantic or marital relationship work:

1. Being right about everything all the time (i.e. arrogance).
2. Absolute control over everything (i.e. tyranny).
3. Insisting on getting something first (i.e. selfishness).
4. Always having the last word (i.e. pride).
5. Refusing to forgive your partner when your partner willfully continues to be disagreeable towards you (i.e. mercilessness).
6. Refusing to listen to your partner (i.e. stubbornness).
7. Refusing to be honest with your partner (i.e. dishonesty).
8. Holding a grudge against your partner (i.e. being totally unforgiving).
9. Taking your partner for granted.
10. Putting your feelings first, and your partner's feelings last.
11. Insisting that your partner think, feel, and act like you. Insisting that your partner have the same tastes, likes, and dislikes that you have.
12. Being hostile and malignant towards your partner, for whatever reason.
13. Treating your partner like the enemy (i.e. mistrust).
14. Constantly analyzing, scrutinizing, judging, and condemning your partner.
15. Being impatient with and doubtful about your partner.
16. Your "lover on the side" (i.e. someone, or even something, other than your partner) (i.e. infidelity).

List of things that CANNOT be sacrificed:

1. Your spirituality and religious beliefs (or atheism, if you have no spirituality).
2. The body you were born with (including all of its body-parts and its specific characteristics).
3. Your purpose in life, and the talents you were born with.
4. Your personal tastes, likes, and dislikes. (The only exceptions are when you like something that is essentially harmful or fatal to someone else, or when you dislike something that is essentially just and right for everyone.)
5. Your essential responsibilities for yourself, your home, and your relationships with people around you.
6. Your children (if you have any).
7. Virtue, dignity, integrity, and self-respect.

Copyright (c) 2008, All Rights Reserved

Laws of Corporate American Profiteering

(While these "laws" are basically unsung, they are quite valid, and can be observed on a regular basis.)

Law of Deliberate Inadequacy
Never completely fix, repair, cure, heal, replenish, fulfill, or replace anything. Always leave some measure of incompleteness that will require your customer to spend more money to fix, repair, cure, heal, replenish, fulfill, or replace the incomplete thing, which (unbeknownst to the unwary customer) would only lead to yet another incomplete thing that will require even more of their money. If you cannot find anything that would be left incomplete after you finish the task, then secretly create something that is incomplete, i.e. secretly find something to sabotage and then sabotage it before approaching the customer with the completed task. An ideal product or task would be one that creates at least as many new problems for the customer as the original problems it solved. And ideally, these inherently flawed products or tasks would be the only ones available to the customer throughout the entire society.

Law of Deceptive Advertisement
Never tell the whole truth about any product or task that you intend to sell to your customers. Always tell them what they want to hear, i.e. always take advantage of their base, carnal desires and lusts, and always appeal to their own self-interests and selfish vanity. At the same time, if you must use morality, then give them a false sense of morality by feeding them parts of the truth; besides, they're usually too lazy to tell the difference anyway. Nevertheless, also omit those parts of the truth that could damage any or all acceptance of the product or task. All you care about is selling massive quantities of the product or task. It is not your job to question the validity or righteousness of that product or task. So if selling massive quantities of the product or task requires that you lie, conceal part of the truth or all of the truth, distort the facts, or any combination of the aforementioned, then that is how you advertise the product or task.

Law of Private Membership
The best way to persuade a society to accept your agenda and purchase vast amounts of your product or task is to first persuade that society's leadership. And the best way to persuade that society's leadership is by becoming those leaders, and then by preventing anyone contrary to your agenda from attaining the same leadership office. Once you and your team have secured crucial leadership offices throughout society, you then secretly rewrite every last law and procedure throughout society, granting you and your team vast amounts of exclusive power and control while making it that much more difficult for anyone contrary to your agenda to even survive in your "New World Order." At the same time, you and your team create secret and exclusive yet "all-powerful" elite leadership positions that only you and your team know about and occupy. That way, you and your team will always win the game before it even begins, simply because you and your team already own the game outright.

Law of Covert Operations
Since you really don't want prying eyes to expose the dishonest plots and operations behind your products or tasks, enshroud everything you do with secrecy. Never let the right hand know what the left hand is doing. From start to finish, every product or task developed for sale must be developed behind closed doors. And only you and your team know about the product or task until it is actually released to the market for sale. That way, you can employ whatever methods you desire to manufacture and mass-produce the product or task as inexpensively as possible, even if those same methods are harmful or fatal to your blue-collar employees, to your end-customers, to the environment, or even to society as a whole. Furthermore, secrecy will allow you and your team to carry out whatever dirty work needs to be done to keep your corporation on top.

Law of Orchestrated Catastrophe
If your product or task would stand a far better chance on the market after the occurrence of a violent disaster, an act of war, a terrorist attack, or any other horrible event that would threaten or claim numerous innocent lives, but there is very little opportunity for that event to take place, then you secretly create the event and unleash it onto an unwary public. Afterwards, as if it were a godsend, you then release your product or task to the market, reap massive profits, and achieve savior-like status overnight. Unless someone really does his or her homework, no one will even suspect that you or your team had anything to do with that horrible event in the first place.

Law of Prefabricated Necessity
If you have a product or task that would greatly fulfill a specific need, but that need barely exists or doesn't exist at all, then you and your team must secretly create that need throughout all of society, either by deceptive persuasion or by covert physical activity. Even if the creation of that need is harmful or fatal to your blue-collar employees, to your end-customers, to the environment, or even to society as a whole, it doesn't matter; only the success of your product or task matters, only the subsequent profits generated by your product or task matter, and only the continued success of your corporation matters.

Law of Hostile Persuasion
Some people just get in the way. You and your team will, at some point in time, encounter some sort of threat to your profits. It could be a whistle-blower who is about to expose your corporation's most sensitive vulnerabilities, or any fraudulent information your corporation fabricated, or your corporation's corruption and dirty work, or the actual inadequacy of your product or task. It could be a renegade former-member of your "inner-circle" who is bent on destroying your corporation. It could even be a competitor who is about to release a product or task that is actually superior to yours in every way. First, you do everything possible to discredit the threat so that nothing originating from that threat has any merit. As such, no matter how valid the threat's claims against your corporation may be, everyone will simply ignore those claims. If, however, the claims originating from the threat will be far too potent to ignore, then more drastic measures must be taken. Depending on the long-term expenses of each covert operation, you will either have to bribe the threat with millions of dollars (even billions of dollars) in hush-money or corporate buy-outs, or the threat will have "met with a sudden fatal misfortune." Regardless of how it is done, and regardless of how many innocent people "mysteriously" wind up dead, the threat must be silenced, and the competition mercilessly crushed, once and for all.

Law of Limited Liability
No matter what happens, never claim responsibility for any fatality, loss, damage, or misfortune resulting from the use of your product or task. When advertising or selling the product or task, write a contract, in fine print, that severely limits your liability should any such disaster take place subsequent to the use of your product or task. If you are required by law to list the inherent dangers and risks associated with using your product or task, then list them in fine print as well. It is a known fact that the general public at large always ignores the fine print. So, since you "did your best" to warn the people "in good faith," any disaster they suffer from purchasing and using your product or task is entirely their problem, not yours. Let them walk away with the misery (that is, if they're still alive to walk away!) while you in turn walk away with billions of dollars (even trillions of dollars) in profits.


Copyright (c) 2007, All Rights Reserved

African-American Relationships

A good number of African-American women have voiced concern about African-American men on two fronts, the first of which is that they don't want their men to "stray into the camps of the other women," and the second of which is that they are tired of their men acting like dogs and abusing them. Oddly enough, both fronts have the same origin, namely, that a good number of modern African-American families lack the cohesive structure required to endure the trials of this world. And this lack of cohesive structure is based on a lasting identity crisis that African-Americans have been struggling with for decades, even centuries. The crisis can be summed up in this statement, namely, that the men are not learning how to be gentlemen, and the women are not learning how to be ladies. The problem is indeed that simple, and nothing happens in a vacuum. The strife that exists between the African-American man and the African-American woman damages the family, which in turn damages the community, which in turn damages the race as a whole. Listed below are some mandates for how such strife between the man and the woman must be dealt with and eliminated once and for all.

First, African-American men must learn how to be gentlemen. A man who is led by his carnal desires (i.e. {1} to live a lifestyle of ignorance and laziness to the point of refusing a decent job, {2} to spew forth profanity as though it were some badge of honor, {3} to get drunk or high all the time, {4} to have sex with numerous women (none of whom are his wife) and sire scores of illegitimate children by them, {5} to verbally and physically treat women with contempt and abuse, {6} to sell narcotics and other vices that destroy a community, and {7} to engage in ruthless, senseless violence against others) is both a coward and a fool, and is not a man at all. It takes a real man to learn how to live the right way, to get an education, to learn how to run a legitimate business, to support his own community, to uphold the law, and to care for his wife and children with his very own life. It takes a real man to forgive other people their faults, to seek peace instead of war, and to build friendships instead of hostilities. It takes a real man to pursue virtue instead of vice, to take the long and narrow road of righteousness (which leads to life) instead of the short and wide road of selfish pleasures (which leads to death). It takes a real man to love instead of hate, to carry himself with dignity and self-worth instead of shameful posturing and disrespectful ignorance. And a real man fully realizes that there is no such thing as a free lunch when it comes to carrying himself with respect, respect for himself and respect for others.

Second, if an African-American man were really a gentleman, he would have no problem attracting genuine ladies and repelling ill-mannered women, simply because characters who love darkness cannot stand people who walk in the Light. A real gentleman who is dealing with an ill-mannered woman never sinks down to her level. He simply leaves her, without any animosity and without any hostility. He does not cheat on her behind her back with her closest female friends, nor does he shout any obscenities at her, nor does he beat her to the ground. He simply leaves her, quietly shakes the dirt from his feet, and goes on with his life. Much more can be accomplished by withdrawing one's presence from an offending individual than by saying or doing spiteful things against that individual. And a gentleman who learns how to speak and behave without hostility has become a gentleman indeed. Loving someone does not mean you have to endure abuse from that someone. One should always remember that abuse is hatred; abuse is never love. The moment anyone abuses anyone else, verbally or otherwise, the love is dead, and hatred has taken its place. No man should ever have to endure a woman whose tongue repeatedly and viciously grinds his ego to powder. That kind of spiritual abuse is utterly intolerable. This matter will now be continued in the third point below.

Third, African-American women must learn how to be ladies, not sluts, whores, female dogs (i.e. the "B"-word), materialistic gold-diggers, viper-tongued egomaniacs, ill-mannered shrews, or snarling amazons. African-American women have hurled numerous complaints against African-American men for chasing after women from other races (or, most notably, after Caucasian women). Maybe it wouldn't hurt for African-American women to learn what those other women have taught each other and practiced on an ongoing basis in order to make themselves more desirable. To begin with, women from other races have learned how to be more feminine and submissive towards their man (i.e. {1} respecting the man and allowing him to properly govern the family, {2} listening attentively to every noteworthy thing he has to say, {3} lovingly cherishing his most noble thoughts, and {4} joyfully nurturing him and caring for his needs without question). A gentleman who is loved and supported by this kind of woman would definitely feel obligated to do good for her and value her in return, caring for her every need, and defending her honor in all arenas of life. (The word "gentleman" above is emphasized because only a gentleman will properly care for a woman.) Unfortunately, most African-American women have not been taught these virtues of femininity and submissiveness, nor do a good number of these women feel that such virtues are of any value. These women instead feel that it is their duty to "put the man in his place" (i.e. {1} to belligerently question everything he does, no matter how right it is, {2} to sharply criticize everything he has to say, in some cases not even letting him get a word in edgewise, {3} to belittle every last one of his thoughts if they don't "sound right," and {4} to angrily tell him that he can take care of his own "darned" self, and that if he were really any measure of a man, he would take care of the woman's needs first). Most of these women have already had hostile encounters with an ill-mannered man who did not deserve their company in the first place. But instead of simply leaving that man when he first abused them, they chose to stay with him and love him anyway. As stated above, abuse is hatred. Abuse is not love at all. Just as no woman can abuse a man and call it "love," neither can any man abuse a woman and get away with the same thing. The first time a man abuses a woman, verbally or otherwise, should be the last, and that woman should leave immediately without ever looking back. And just as a true gentleman would simply leave an abusive woman without any hostility on his part, likewise a true lady should also leave an abusive man without any hostility on her part. It is no great mystery that women who stay in long-term abusive relationships have a greater probability of internalizing those same abusive traits as a defense mechanism. Unfortunately, when the abusive man is finally long-gone, those internalized abusive traits can and do remain embedded within the woman's character, and oftentimes, without provocation, she will behave in an abusive manner without even knowing that she is. Ultimately, no one can ever hope to overcome past abuses until he or she accepts the reality that abuse has no place in healthy relationships. Until this acceptance takes place on the most intrinsic level (i.e. on the same level as dignity and self-respect), one can only hope to go from one abusive relationship to another, where he or she will either be the victim or the assailant.

Ultimately, African-American men and women have to make a daily conscious commitment to improve their own relationships with one another, regardless of how the other gender may behave. Personal growth must occur independent of how one treats you, otherwise you will always be at the mercy of the other person's whims. You cannot expect your partner to behave like a lady or a gentleman before you decide to behave like a gentleman or a lady. The initiative must always begin with you. So long as the African-American man waits for the African-American woman to become a lady, while the woman is waiting for the man to become a gentleman, nothing will ever change, and the African-American race as a whole will continue on its downward spiral into oblivion.


Copyright (c) 2007, All Rights Reserved

Marriage and Unconditional Love

Just because a woman loves a man unconditionally does not automatically make her the right woman for that man, even as a man who loves a woman unconditionally is not necessarily the right man for that woman. To assume that any man can marry any woman based on unconditional love alone is to assume that all men are interchangeable with all other men, and that all women are interchangeable with all other women. Such assumptions are entirely erroneous. Even with arranged marriages, parents have to select which young adult should marry their own young adult. If all men and women were truly interchangeable, then even that selection process would have been completely unnecessary: just slap any two kids together and call it a deal! No, unconditional love is not the only factor that should motivate one's selection of a spouse, even though it is the noblest factor for any such selection process. All men and women have the ability to love unconditionally, but there is much more to a person's character than whether or not he or she regularly exercises (or claims to regularly exercise) the ability to love unconditionally. And indeed, some of those character traits will actually determine the true probability of such a person really exercising that ability.

To begin with, there are several elements in a person's character that absolutely run contrary to unconditional love (or to any love, for that matter). First, if a person's "love" for you is based on neediness or desperation (or both), then that is not love at all. That is neediness or desperation (or both), plain and simple. Second, if you have to debate whether or not the person who "loves" you really belongs in your life, then that person does NOT belong in your life. Love and uncertainty do not mix. Both parties have to be certain that their marriage is worth working for, otherwise they are only fooling themselves. Third, if the person who "loves" you is trying to rush you through the relationship and up to the wedding altar for any reason, whether it be money, sexual compatibility, family coercion, outright desperation, or anything else, then that person is hardly serious about love. Love is always patient. Fourth, if the person's "love" for you is entirely based on how much money you gave to that person, or how much clothing or jewelry you gave to that person, or how many fancy cars you gave to that person, or how many orgasms you gave to that person, or how sexy you look, or how well you dress, or how popular you are, then that person is both a materialistic parasite and a complete fool. Love has absolutely nothing to do with materialism, and such miscreants simply do not belong in your life. Fifth, if the person who "loves" you expects you to continue pampering him or her and caring about his or her feelings, while he or she continues to criticize you for everything and reduce your feelings to so many pounds of chopped liver, then that person is selfish. Such a selfish person is so introverted, he or she is utterly incapable of any kind of love, least of all unconditional love. Sixth, if the person who "loves" you is smothering, manipulative, domineering, or abusive in any way towards you, then that person actually hates you. Unconditional love requires mutual respect between two equals. Any love without respect is no better than hate. Seventh, if the person "loves" you more than you "love" him or her, or you "love" him or her more than he or she "loves" you, then that is not love at all. The individual who "loves" too much is too desperate and needy to see love for what it really is, while the individual who "loves" too little (but keeps the relationship going) is actually an emotional parasite who thrives on "the desperation and neediness of inferiors." The person who "loves" too much is better off giving up on the relationship altogether, ceasing to love the other person once and for all. And the person who "loves" too little needs to stop leading the other person on, be mature, and let the other person go. Any imbalanced relationship or marriage is utterly unhealthy. Eighth, if the person who "loves" you constantly expects you to fulfill a set of requirements that only God can fulfill, then both the relationship and the marriage are doomed to absolute failure. No human being on this Earth is perfect. Anyone who is in dire need of deep Healing and absolute Nurture can only receive such Healing and Nurture from God, and not from any human being. No flesh-and-blood person should ever be used to try and fill one's Spiritual Core, the Seat of God. Ninth, if the person who "loves" you repeatedly and blatantly assumes that he or she knows everything there is to know about you and your needs, without ever actually communicating with you, then that person is both fearful and vain. He or she is afraid of dealing with the truth, namely, that there is much more to you than his or her shallow assumptions would permit. And at the same time, he or she is both vain and condescending, thinking that he or she doesn't have to really give you the time of day in order to know you better. Such ridiculous qualities are as far away from unconditional love as the east is from the west. And tenth, if the person who "loves" you is on a purpose-driven life-path that merely crossed yours, then that person was never meant to remain in your life. Life-paths driven by purpose are straight, and as such, paths that once converged towards the crossing will inevitably diverge after the crossing. In order for a marriage to be successful, the life-paths of both the man and the woman must have the same Ultimate Destination within God, in which case the life-paths of both husband and wife will always be converging. Nevertheless, each and every Ultimate Destination is as unique as the person headed towards that Destination. That is why no two men are interchangeable, and no two women are interchangeable, when it comes to marriage.

Aside from the social, emotional, mental, and spiritual criteria necessary for selecting a spouse, one should not in any way ignore the physical criteria that are also necessary for the same selection process. Although the inner spirit always carries more weight than the physical body when it comes to unconditional love, the fact is that men are men and women are women because of their physical bodies, and not because of their inner spirits. Eliminate the physical body, and the marriage is null and void, hence the term "'Til death do us part" in the average wedding vow. In any marriage, there are elements that absolutely require the physical body in order to be fulfilled. The inner spirit alone is simply inadequate. For example, physical affection, sensuality, and copulation cannot take place without the physical bodies of both the man and the woman. Only the physical body can give and receive sexual fulfillment while copulating. Only a man's physical body can get a woman's physical body pregnant. And only a woman's physical body can give birth to children and breast-feed them. All of the above-mentioned elements are primary and central to all marriages, and all of those elements require physical bodies. As such, anyone searching for a spouse must now factor in the following physical criterion. First, do you plan on having children when you get married? If the answer is "yes," then you do not want to marry a person who is infertile or sterile. If the answer is "no," then you do not want to marry a person who has not had any children yet, and might possibly want children in the future. Second, what kind of sexual expectations do you have with regards to the other person? And do your expectations mesh with those of the person you desire? If there are any sexual incompatibilities, how hard are the two of you willing to work at resolving them? And what amount of sexual incompatibility would you consider unreasonable? One of the greatest enemies of any marriage is adultery. (The other greatest enemies are abject poverty and communication breakdown.) Nevertheless, the need for sexual fulfillment is a valid need that must be dealt with, no matter how unyielding the situation. Better still is the avoidance of any marital commitment fraught with sexual dysfunction. In other words, if the person's ability to sexually fulfill you is utterly doubtful, then do not marry that person. Third, what is your outlook on domestic roles? And what is your partner's outlook on domestic roles? With regards to these outlooks, who makes the money and who decides how it's spent? Do you expect the man to be the head of the house and the sole breadwinner, while the woman is the faithful housewife who bears the children and guides the home? Or do you expect the woman to be career-oriented while the man stays at home and takes up the role of "Mr. Mom?" Or do you expect both the man and the woman to have careers? Or do you expect them both to work from home while maintaining the family? It is absolutely essential that both you and your partner share the same outlook on domestic roles. There can be no gray areas on either side. Not only does this outlook determine how the married couple manages its financial affairs, but it also determines who does what in the home. If you harbor any kind of disagreement with your partner when it comes to this outlook, then you should not marry the person at all. Such disagreement is a potent recipe for marital failure.

Ultimately, when it comes to choosing a spouse, unconditional love was never meant to supersede compatibility. If anything, unconditional love is a manifestation of compatibility, and is enhanced by compatibility. Now at this point one may argue that what was mentioned above is no longer unconditional love, but rather, conditional love, because it is now based on compatibility. Nevertheless, anyone who loves indiscriminately is no better than a fool who casts pearls before swine, which then proceed to trample said pearls underfoot and then turn to lacerate and eviscerate the fool. This is not to say that unconditional love is wrong. It is perfectly right to love your partner without reserve, so long as that partner is the right partner. Otherwise, you are only wasting both your time and your heart.


Copyright (c) 2007, All Rights Reserved

Marriage and the State

Marriage is a religious and spiritual matter, not a state matter. The separation of religion and state (not "church and state," since the word "church" is Christian-biased) should also recognize the separation between marriage and state, since diverse religions already define marriage quite diversely. Not only have American governments passed laws defining appropriate marriages, but the same laws also favor a Judeo-Christian marital ethic, namely, marriages that are monogamous and heterosexual. And yet if America is supposed to favor freedom of religion, why then do her governments pass laws promoting one religion's freedoms at the expense of another? In Islam, a man having up to four wives at the same time is considered properly married, but the laws in America call such polygamy illegal. Some religions promote homosexual marriages, but again, the laws in America fiercely oppose them. Does America champion freedom of religion or not? And if she does claim to champion freedom of religion, why then does she uphold and continue to pass laws against certain religions by passing laws against their marital practices, even if those marital practices do not injure or kill any other citizen? Either America should allow people to truly have freedom of religion, honoring whatever type of marriage desired, or America should simply throw the First Amendment and freedom of religion into the trash in favor of her obvious Judeo-Christian bent. After all, American government calls it "separation of church and state," not "separation of religion and state," remember?

There will always be a problem when defending the freedoms of one American citizen whenever those freedoms offend the sensibilities of another. How do you defend two lifestyles that are radically opposed to each other on practically every front? Some fundamentalist religious groups have been at war with each other for centuries, long before America was even born. And while some nations have embraced homosexuals for centuries, others have put homosexuals to death for centuries, simply for being homosexual. Although the concept of Democracy is as old as the Ancient Greeks, its actual practice as a foundation for civil and human rights is still quite recent and, at best, quite a challenge to implement on a daily basis. Who ultimately gets the last word on right and wrong?


Copyright (c) 2004, All Rights Reserved

Relationships versus Games

Relationships and games are like oil and water, in that they simply do not mix. Only a fool would try to have an honest relationship with a game-player, and only a fool would play the game in an honest relationship. That is because relationships and games serve two entirely different purposes that seldom see eye to eye. People get involved in relationships for the sake of steady friendship, companionship, faithfulness, trust, nurture, generosity, honesty, personal growth, family, affection, intimacy, and love. But people play the game in order to beat their opponent (if any) and win all the prizes at stake, be they money, land, power, control, or something else of worldly value. The only thing that matters to a game-player is winning, even if it requires you becoming one of his or her casualties in the process. And even though a game-player may endure short-term losses, he or she will still draw from those experiences and strive even harder for the long-term win. Anyone who says that how you play the game is more important than winning or losing isn't really a game-player, but is instead more suited for the stability and reliability of the relationship, since relationships are more focused on how well you treat others, while game-playing is always focused on the goal of winning. As such, the life of one dedicated to relationships is largely task-oriented (i.e. how you treat others), while the life of one dedicated to game-playing is largely goal-oriented (i.e. winning).

Typical relationships involve family relatives, close friends, spouses, lovers, special-interest group members, or fellow worshippers in a certain religion. These people share a common bond with each other, enhanced by how well they treat each other, and totally independent of any worldly gain or loss. Because people often make mistakes or misbehave from time to time, a good relationship allows for mercy and forgiveness towards the stumbling individual. Anyone who appreciates and builds good relationships deserves mercy and forgiveness for his or her human errors. But the same mercy and forgiveness towards a hard-core game-player are utterly inappropriate. That is because game-players only respond to force, not mercy. Whenever you show mercy towards a game-player, he or she will look upon it as weakness, then he or she will proceed to use you until you are of no further use, or simply beat you down and walk all over you while continuing to play for the big win. Nothing personal. With a game-player, the only thing that really matters in life is the big win, not you, not family, not friends, not love, not even GOD. And no matter how long the game takes, the game-player will not ever stop playing until he or she has won big-time. And even then, repeatedly playing the game and going for the big win may very well be the ultimate reward in itself for the truly hard-core game-player, who will only stop playing the game when he or she is in the grave.

Is the game-player void of any kind of human bonding? Not necessarily, but it all depends upon the type of game being played. There are three different elements that determine the nature of all games: {1} the team-players, {2} the opponent, and {3} the resources available to the game-player. A game-player may or may not have a team and may or may not have an opponent. But a game-player will always need resources that will help him or her play the game and win. So if you are neither a team-player nor an opponent (in other words, if you yourself are not a game-player), then you will always be categorized as a usable resource by the game-player, no matter how intimate and personal things may appear. As a resource, your only true purpose in the game-player's life is to give him or her what is needed to win big-time. The moment you can no longer fulfill that purpose in any way, shape, form, dimension, or capacity is the moment you are then discarded, plain and simple. Now if you yourself do happen to be a game-player and you are involved with another game-player, then you are either a team-player or an opponent. If you are an opponent, then you will always be that game-player's enemy, and it will always be his or her obligation to crush and destroy you totally, no matter how intimate and personal things may appear. If you are a team-player, then you are the closest thing to a relationship that he or she will ever have. Nevertheless, such bonds between two game-players who are on the same team are still extremely conditional. A game-player usually never likes to share his or her winnings with anyone. If he or she does, then it's because such sharing will benefit the outcomes of future games in his or her favor. Otherwise, even team alliances between game-players can still be extremely uneasy at best. The moment another game-player ceases to be a beneficial ally, then he or she goes from being a team-player to being an opponent, and how opponents are treated has already been explained above. Ultimately, the only reason a game-player shares anything with another game-player is because he or she has to, and not because he or she wants to. Any game-player who has enough power to surpass accountability for his or her own actions does not have to be nice to anyone, share his or her winnings with anyone, or form alliances with any other game-player.

Nevertheless, an accomplished game-player's life can actually be a lonely existence, especially since the worldly possessions he or she has acquired will only attract predators and parasites instead of true friends. That is why some game-players do their best to attract decent relationships. Unfortunately, a game-player who has dedicated his or her entire life to playing the game does not have the ability to maintain a decent relationship, let alone appreciate it. To the game-player, anyone involved in the relationship is just another mark, and the relationship itself is only another game that must be won by any means necessary, even if those means include dishonesty, deceit, intrusion, coercion, theft, pressure-tactics, manipulation, temptation, enticement, intimidation, extortion, and outright hostility. That is why any non-game-player who discovers that he or she has been deceived into having a relationship with a game-player must use any and all available force necessary to get the game-player out of his or her life as soon as possible. (Remember, game-players only respond to force, not mercy.) There is absolutely no place in any relationship for games. Neither should a game-player ever hope to have a decent relationship while still playing the game. And that is why every game-player will eventually have to face this reality, namely, that winning any game is never more important than the most noble action of all relationships, love.


Copyright (c) 2005, All Rights Reserved

Digital Diapers (a Short Story)

Too much computer technology is falling into the hands of too many hardheaded employees who personally refuse to know or learn anything about it. As an Information Technology Support person, you just want to keep the computers away from those individuals before they foolishly destroy their own information infrastructure. Unfortunately, most of these individuals have what's called power, or their sympathetic superiors have this power, and they want these computers they have absolutely no knowledge about, and they want them now.

One middle-aged executive said he wanted two new critical network fileservers. Then he changed his mind and said he needed only one, after the shipment had already arrived, been unpacked, and then fully assembled and connected to the network. Then he changed his mind again and said he needed five more, after the extra one had been repacked and shipped back. You should've seen the dirty looks on Procurement's faces. Now that this idiot executive has finally settled on three critical fileservers, I've finally been able to load the Operating System.

Now the Novell NetWare OS on our fileservers allows IT Support people like myself to set powerful security restrictions on user login accounts, restrictions that would prevent stupid users from doing stupid things, like deleting the core OS programs on the fileserver. And under normal circumstances, I get no opposition from anyone when it comes to setting such restrictions. But with this same boneheaded executive, there are no normal circumstances. A week after these critical fileservers are in place, the guy hires his nineteen-year-old deadbeat son, and then demands that I give this son's new login account unconditional access to all the fileservers and applications in the company, including the critical ones. Now this brat barely learned what a mouse was for, and once thought that a floppy was something on his grandma's chest. But you'd better believe he knows absolutely everything about Pot, Heroin, Acid, Cocaine, LSD, PCP, Magic Mushrooms, and let's not forget Crystal Meth. And if Daddy wants him to have access to everything, including our most critical applications and fileservers, then by golly he'd better get it, or there'd be hell to pay, and I'd have to pay it with the termination of my job. I'll never forget the day that little miscreant almost destroyed the entire corporate network by playing a bootlegged X-rated porno game on his office computer, a game that was infected with several lethal viruses known to attack Novell fileservers and network computers through unconditional-access login accounts like his. And every time I've tried to install Antivirus network-software, the same executive moron refuses, insisting that he knows all his important files would be mistaken for viruses, then deleted. (Of course, any IT Support person knows that's pure fiction, but try telling that to our executive friend.) Then he turns and blames me instead of his son, insisting that if I had done a better job, there would've been no virus outbreak in the first place.

Almost a week later, all the fileservers finally crashed. I come to find out that the cause of the crashes wasn't the executive, nor was it his son, but rather, his son's girlfriend, who was "desk-cleaning" for her boyfriend using his unconditional-access login account, and thought that it would help remove the clutter if she permanently deleted all the EXE and DLL and NLM programs that were taking up so much disk space in the Core System Areas of all the fileservers. (Remember those core OS programs I mentioned earlier?) Now I would've restored the fileservers from tape backups, but this same bimbo also thought that there were just too many labeled tapes cluttering up the locked cabinet, and so she unlocks the cabinet, takes all the labeled tapes, and throws them all out with the day's garbage pickup. (I keep saying the tapes were labeled, yes, labeled, because it's quite obvious that this airhead can't read worth squat.)

Well, to make a long story short, my job was terminated for what that executive creep called gross negligence on my part. Even after I was long gone, he threatened to press charges against me for the downtime and profit loss the corporation suffered, but he couldn't find anything to substantiate his claims. I didn't know whether to be upset for getting fired, or to be overjoyed. But I could rejoice in knowing that the soiled digital diapers worn by those users from hell would now have to be changed by someone else.


Copyright (c) 2002, All Rights Reserved